Friday, October 26, 2018

Birthday partying at ShowBiz Pizza Place!

The year is 1987. It's late October, almost Halloween, and I'm about to turn 6 years old. I'm in a car full of kids, and we're all on our way over to Virginia Beach for a birthday party. My birthday party. Where are we going? Why, none other than...



Thursday, October 4, 2018

JJ's Pumpkin Spice Pie

Well, here's another shorty. In fact, the next 10 or so entries are likely going to be pretty short, so you're welcome.

And what am I looking at today? You didn't read the title of this post, did you?


Wednesday, October 3, 2018

De-Animator!

I'm a bit late, so this will be a quick one today.

A few years ago, I stumbled upon the stories of H.P. Lovecraft. I'm a huge fan of the cosmic horror genre, and of the idea that there's some stuff out there that will make a man insane just to look at it. Not all of the stories are about world eating monstrosities just around the corner, though. Some of them are just good ol' fashioned man screws with things he shouldn't type stories. That's sort of the premise of Herbert West: Reanimator. West is a brilliant doctor that believes he can beat death with a healthy dose of science and malpractice. Unfortunately for West's assistant, who's also the narrator, this usually leads to the creation of creatures of a deadly nature, which have to be attended to with the judicious application of a revolver and a shovel. It's one of my favorite Lovecraft stories, though you still have a little bit of his rampant racism to contend with.

Anyway, I mention this particular story because a little over 10 years ago, it was adapted into a Flash game called De-Animator.



The premise of the game is simple enough: You play as Herbert West, and you're tasked with dispatching hordes of undead creatures created by your bizarre experiments. You're armed with a revolver, and once you find it, a shotgun. Timing is critical though. Run out of ammo at the wrong time, and you'll find yourself witness to one of several death animations. There's no real music to speak of, with what sounds like wind howling looping in the background. The only other sounds are the shots from your guns, the thud of the zombies when they hit the ground, and your screams when they inevitably overrun you.

So, if you're looking for a spooky game that's perfect for the Halloween season, head over to De-Animator and give it a go!

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Favorite Movie Monsters: Chainsaw Graver from Phantasm 2!

Welcome to another installment of Favorite Movie Monsters. This is a segment in which I talk about the monsters that had the most effect on me over the years. In most cases, they're responsible for scaring the hell out of me, or giving me an irrational fear in the real world for a few months. So, without further ado, let's see who gave me the willies.


Monday, October 1, 2018

Brach's Pie Favorites Candy Corn

Welcome to the inaugural post of Stunt Zombie's 2018 Halloween season. And what do I have for you today? Why, it's none other than Brach's Candy Corn!


Saturday, July 28, 2018

Strawberry Shortcake and Rocky Road Trip Oreo cookies


Oh man, it's been a while since I've done one of these. It's not like I haven't been trying all the new Oreo flavors, I have been. It's more like I buy a pack, get busy, and finish the package before I get a chance to write down my thoughts and take pictures. Lucky you, reader, that I went into this with the express intention of telling you just what I thought about these new flavors.

Let's get this over with, shall we?

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Can we talk about this towel?

Last Saturday, I was killing some time in Walmart while my wife was teaching a class at the Y. Yeah, I could probably use a class or two myself, but I get enough of a workout when I'm at work. We were going up to Chincoteague Island to hit the beach once she was finished, and I had just realized I forgot to pack a beach towel. I walked over to the beach towel aisle and was a bit surprised at the selection. All the choices were rather overwhelming. I don't know if you know this, but there's a bit of a process in selecting a beach towel. You want to get something big enough that you can lay on it without getting sand all over yourself, but you don't want something so large that it doubles as a king size comforter. It's a little hard for me to find towels long enough, so I don't mind as much if my feet stick off the end. The other important consideration is color. Too light, and it will pick up stains quickly, or it'll be blinding in the sunlight. Too dark, and you're going to roast your back laying back down after getting another round of fruity, slushy beach drinks. And of course you'll want something that speaks to you, or shows off your taste.

So, I was standing there applying my process when I found this towel. THE towel..


I know what you're saying, it's just a towel with some flamingos on it. And yeah, you'd be right. But it's just so much more. Shall I list the reasons why?


1. Dem flamingos!

I love flamingos. They're my favorite of the lazy long-legged birds. Standing around in knee deep water and snacking on shrimp all day sounds like a good life to me. Whenever I see flamingos, my thoughts immediately go to warm, humid climates. Some place like Florida, or some tropical island with white sandy beaches. I also start thinking about all those 80's movies that place in the suburbs in the summer. The ones where everyone has the same style house, the same manicured lawn, and a flamingo or two hanging out next to their driveway.

I also love that these flamingos aren't wearing sunglasses. Artists always love putting shades on flamingo faces, so I like that whoever designed this towel played it straight. They're not a bunch of mascots, they're just some cool ass flamingos just chilling off a beach in southern Florida. If you want some crazy pink bird to shill sugary summer drinks for you, ya gotta go somewhere else.


2. That blue!

It's no secret that my favorite color is blue. Or, if you didn't happen to know, my favorite color is blue. And there is a whole lot of blue on this here towel. It's actually pretty hard to catch the color through photographs. In person, it's more of a sky blue. Like, a cloudless summer sky blue, or the waters off the beaches of Bora Bora blue. I mean, it's a bunch of flamingos walking around in water, so I guess it would make sense for it be blue, but I really think they picked the perfect shade here.

It also reminds me of the color of my favorite ice pops. We'd get these pops that were actually two frozen together. I guess the idea was that you were supposed to split them apart and share one with a friend or sibling. Being an only child meant I wasn't sharing anything, and got to enjoy both ice pops. All the flavors were great, but the blue ones were a particular favorite of mine. I'm sure it was all in my head, but they just seemed to get colder than all the other varieties. Same with the blue FlaVorIce and those Mexican ice pops with the crimp in the middle. Blue just gets colder. Trust me, it's science.


3. That water!

I know it's just a bunch of white lines on a blue towel, but it's the simplicity that I love. It brings back memories of water in NES games. You'd get to the beach level, and you're running along the sand bashing baddies, with that big blue expanse in the background. It was static, but the developers would still add some 8-bit beach sounds for ambience. If you were lucky enough to find a spot to hide, you could take a breather and enjoy the sound of staticy wave crashes for a bit.

Look at those little lines at the right angle, and it's like you're staring out to sea, the sun reflecting off the waves, a cool breeze blowing the fresh salty air across the sand. I can almost hear the blender at the tiki bar mixing up my pina colada, and smell the suntan oil of the women playing volleyball next to me, while the Beach Boys' "Kokomo" plays on someone's radio down the beach. I guess you could say I found my summertime security blanket.

Have a fun summer out there, and don't forget to go find your towel.






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