Friday, April 26, 2013

As George Takei would say, "Oh my."

I found this in one of the many antique/junk shops in my area.

The subtitle of the book has made me kind of curious. Just what are some of the problems of the lesbian lifestyle? Is the lesbian lifestyle really so complicated that they need a book to explain what goes where? How many people have to buy a book for it to be a National Bestseller? Were they all lesbians? Is there an uncomplete and abridged version out there? I almost forgot the most important question: Wouldn't most lesbians already know the joy of lesbian sex? I have trouble picturing a couple of women running across this book, their faces lighting up as they realize, "So that explains it! We were doing it wrong!" Sorry, but I don't see that happening.

So many questions that could have been answered if I hadn't been in a hurry. I kinda wish I had bought it now, though I have a feeling the guy running  the store that day wouldn't have sold it to me. He looked to be the sort of fellow that would have partaken of the illustrations.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

This may end badly. ALF Trading cards

When I was going through all the items that jboypacman sent me as part of our trade, I came across a pack of ALF trading cards. I actually had several packs of the first series as a kid, though they were lost a long, long time ago. I can't remember seeing cards for any other shows, but I do remember buying packs of cards based on Batman, Little Shop of Horrors, and Return of the Jedi. They used to have these variety packs for sale at a gas station owned by a friend of my dad's. It seemed like we stopped there every weekend while we were out and about. My dad would stand there and shoot the breeze with the owner, while I would make my way over to the spinning racks, and inspect all the different packs hanging on the display. I can't remember the name on these packs, or who produced them, but I'm pretty sure it's the same folks that sell the candy that comes in the clear plastic bags with the red and yellow striped top. I'm probably wrong though. These packs contained everything a young boy would need to keep himself occupied for a few hours. There were usually two or three packs of cards, several different kinds of candy, and a couple of toys mixed in. The toys usually weren't anything special, and were almost always the sort of thing you'd find on the cheap toy rack at a grocery store. Still, every now and then you'd get a gem, like a balsa wood glider, or parachuting soldier. 

I was always more interested in the trading cards though. Batman was the big movie then, so I was always trying to get my hands on a complete set of the movie cards. Many times, I just couldn't find the packs I needed, so I would settle for something else, like Return of the Jedi or ALF, which brings me back around to the original topic. Yes, I'm stalling, but I have a good reason to do so. Let's rip this sucker open and get it over with.

Surprisingly, they look just like I remember. The trading cards all have some sort of fun fact or a bit of information about ALF's family. Reading some of these reminds me of the sort of thing we'd come up with when we did Mad Libs. Actually, I'm pretty certain that's what they did. The one card up there with ALF wearing a jersey is the sticker, and on the back of that was one piece of a larger picture. I seem to have gotten his hand. I used to always get so close to completing these sorts of puzzles, but there would always be one piece I could never find. Sort of like the McDonald's Monopoly contest. That Boardwalk piece was always on another large soda. 

Alright, so enough stalling. I'm going to do what I know everyone was already expecting me to do. I'm going to eat that gum.

Oh my..When I first decided to do this, I had some concerns. When I saw the gum laying there, I realized those concerns probably weren't without reason. 25 years is a long time for any piece of food to be around, let alone a piece of gum in a barely sealed pack of cards. These sticks of gum weren't exactly fresh when these packs were released, so by now they're pretty ancient. Still, I'm not one to let my concern for my long term health stand in the way of your entertainment. 

Initially, the flavor wasn't too bad. As I let it sit on my tongue, waiting for it to soften, 25 year old sugar began dissolving and flowing over my taste buds. It was nice and sweet and good. Almost great even. Then I tried to chew it, and all Hell broke loose. I immediately realized that gum this old will probably never be soft again, and my fears of being poisoned were replace by the fear I had just tried to chew glass. That sweet flavor was replaced by the flavor of chemicals, cardboard, and the tears of my generation. It was as if Topps took all the pain and suffering in the world, and compressed it into a stick of gum. If this gum was a weapon, not even the Russians would use it. I spit it out, in all of its sharp, chunky glory, and rinsed out my mouth. That was a couple of hours ago, and I still have the taste of stale cardboard in my mouth. 

So, pack of ALF cards, pretty neat and funny. Really old stick of gum, never again. I'll see you all again soon after I recover. 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Just a preview..

Here's a few more items I ended up with this month. Don't mind Mumm-Ra in the back, he just got a little confused. Those three little guys up front are Crayboths from Onell Design. Just about everything else in the photo came from a trade with jboypacman. He sent me a ton of great stuff, though I must admit I'm having a hard time resisting the urge to tear open that pack of Alf cards and immediately start chewing the gum. I mean, I'm definitely going to open the cards, but I feel it would be a disservice to not even try the gum. It is only 26 years old, how bad could it be?

So stay tuned, and you may get to see me eat nearly 30 year old candy.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Mystery box what do we have here. A plain brown box with a mysteriously customized sticker.

"Itssh id aye, umm rah!"

Whoa!, did anyone else hear that? There's someone in there! I really hate hiding bodies of any size, so I better get this box open quick.

Whew, what a stench. Looks like I'll need to hide a body after all. It smells like a thousand year old green skinned man, wrapped up in dirty linen.

"It is I, Mumm-Ra!"

Ah..that's because it is a thousand year old green skinned man wrapped in dirty linen.

This is the mail-away version of Mumm-Ra from 1986. As far as I know, this version of the character was never released on a card. This meant if you wanted the original form of Mumm-Ra, you had to clip the points off your figures' cards, add S&H, and send it off to Thundercats headquarters. 6-8 weeks later, and you'd get that plain looking box with your address on it. There really isn't much to the old fella. He's articulated at his neck and shoulders, and comes with his bull head staff. Mumm-Ra's more statue than action figure, but then he never really did much fighting when he was in this form. This is more of his lounging about watching soap operas attire.  I mean, just look at what he's wearing. Anyone wearing a robe like has to be a guy that enjoys his daytime tv and doesn't care who knows. That's probably why Mumm-Ra hates the mutants so much. He sets up his VCR to record his stories while he's off fighting the Thundercats, and he comes back to find someone changed the channel and taped cartoons instead. Mutants, you can't live with them, but you can send them off to a horrible beating via humanoid felines.

If you want to own your very own Mail-away Mumm-Ra, I suggest you go check out Matt's site, Dinosaur Dracula. Originally, he was the owner of X-Entertainment, but a desire to upgrade resulted in his new website. It seems he came into a case of Mumm-Ra's through some shady, back alley dealings, and is currently selling them on his site. They're a bit spendy, but his price is actually cheaper than what they go for on E-bay. Also, if you enjoy his site, you'll be helping fund his ability to keep us entertained.

Until next time, Thundercats HO!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

League Assignment- First impressions.

Another week, another assignment from the League of Extraordinary Bloggers. This week, the topic is,

You never get a second chance at a first impression–what moment in pop culture had you saying “Now, that’s how you make an introduction!”

When I read the assignment, immediately I thought of this:

Like it says on the cover, this was the first issue in what would be a multi issue fight between Doomsday, Superman, and a bunch of other heroes. This issue was also the first Superman comic that I had ever bought in the wild. I was looking over the comics section at A&P, and the picture of this green suited and bound monster jumped out at me. I must have read that book dozens of times over the next couple of weeks.

I was hooked on the story from the very first page. There's an ominous "KRAANG" noise echoing through the valley. We're shown that it's coming from underground, and that this is the source:
Eventually, the green suited creature breaks out of its cell, and bursts out of the ground. "Doomsday is coming" is the only clue we have as to the creature's identity.

The main story of Man of Steel #18 really wasn't anything special. A boy named Keith needs Superman to save his mom from a bunch of renegade Underworlders. The Underworlders are plotting to steal Metropolis' electricity and then...well I'm not quite sure what they planned to do after that. They seemed to think they were going to take over the world above with their war machines, but Superman easily kicks their asses while barely breaking a sweat. While all this is going on, we see Doomsday, with one arm still tied behind his back, destroying everything and everyone in his path. 

There's one scene though, right after he breaks out of his cell, that shows us just how evil a creature Doomsday can be. He's standing there in a field, looking off into the distance, when a small bird flies up.

Seems touching, right? The large and obviously powerful being, appearing mesmerized by this tiny and fragile creature. It's almost as if he's giving the bird a place to rest before continuing on its journey. Unfortunately, the bird didn't know that Doomsday was created by cloning and killing a baby thousands of times, to the point that it grew to hate all living creatures. When you land on the hand of a being like that, there can only be one outcome.

Now that, is how you make an introduction.

What made an impression on my fellow bloggers?

Nerd Rage Against the Machine thinks Doctor Who makes the best introductions

jathniel truly believed a man could fly.

Newt got his quarter's worth on a Super Mario Bros. 3 arcade machine.

Geek Chunks has good taste in cartoon intros.  

Goodwill Hunting 4 Geeks is on the move, Goodwill Hunting for Geeks is on the loose.

John at the Batcave Toy Room also believed a man could fly.

LeAnn at Retro Toy Safari wants to with Solo.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

League Assignment- HATE!

This week's assignment from the League of Extraordinary Bloggers:

What piece of pop culture did you hate as a child?

Now, there are several things that I enjoyed at first, but grew to hate as I got older such as pro wrestling or the Smurfs. However, there was a piece of pop culture that I hated from the first time I saw it: Trolls!

No, not that Troll.

Not even those guys. They're technically goblins anyway. The trolls I'm talking about are these ones:

I know why you scream at night.
That, my friends, is the face of terror. I hated these things so much. Everything about them freaked me out. Those beady little eyes that seemed to look right through me. I could almost see my reflection in those eyes, screaming to be freed. Don't let yourself be fooled by that smile either. That's the smile of someone that knows where you sleep, and knows of what you dream. It also hides their many, many rows of needle pointed teeth. Their arms were outstretched waiting to crush the life from anyone foolish enough to get within reach. I would have nightmares about opening my closet door, only to be devoured by a wave of Troll dolls that had been hiding within.

If that wasn't bad enough, in the 90's, some foolish individuals decided to genetically modify the Trolls, giving them super powers. These new, more powerful beings were called Battle Trolls.

I didn't think it was possible, but they seem even more terrifying as robots. Thankfully, we've been able to avoid a Troll-pocalypse. I know they're biding their time, hiding under our beds and in our closets, waiting for the right moment to destroy us all.

I want to devour your sou...I mean, be your friend.
Bubba Shelby over at Toyriffic really hates the G.I. Joe cartoon

The Geeky Vixen is not a fan of the Bronies

Pop Rewind just wants the Rabbit to get his Trix

Fortune and (Glory) Days thinks Voltron got ripped off

Neato Coolville isn't feeling so Scrappy

LeAnn at Retro Toy Safari ain't cleaning up after any baby dolls
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