Showing posts with label chevrolet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chevrolet. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The time I found a dead body (kinda)

When you enter Middle of Nowhere, Va, the first thing you notice is, it's really dark. We're talking darker than dark. So dark you turn your headlights off and on just to make sure they were on in the first place. It's one of the consequences of living in a mostly rural area. There aren't many street lamps along the highway, and there are even fewer on  the back roads. I mention the darkness, because it makes more sense if you know the conditions of the night in question.

On the night "it" happened, my friend Scott and I were already a little freaked out. It was either a Friday or a Saturday night, because it was way late, and we were all up and hanging out. At some point, Scott and I left in his truck to either go to the store, or Scott's house so he could grab some games. We were driving out of my development when I saw a rabbit sitting under the street lamp near the end of my road. I didn't think much of it until a few seconds later, when I caught a flurry of movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked over, and I saw that the rabbit had apparently sprouted wings and was flying off into the night. I'm sure I exclaimed something along the lines of, "That fucking rabbit just flew off!". Scott understandably looked at me like I was crazy, while I stammered on about a rabbit suddenly turning into a winged demon of some sort and taking off into the night. After a few minutes I calmed down, and just laughed it off as having imagined the whole thing. Thankfully, we made it to our destination and back without any other four-legged animals taking to the sky.



A little later that night, I'd say it was between 12 or 1 am, my mom asked us if we could take out the garbage. We were still wide awake and didn't have much else to do, so of course we said we would. Scott and I loaded up the bags, and made our way to the dumps just a couple miles from my house. Scott made sure to keep an eye out for any flying rabbits, and I'm happy to say that all ground animals stayed grounded this time. Just a few minutes later, we were pulling up to the dumpsters when I saw the most horrific thing I'd ever seen in my entire life. And that's when the screaming started.

The human brain is an amazing organ. Sometimes you'll see something, and your brain has already processed the information and is formulating a plan before you can perform a conscious action. That's exactly what happened to me that night. As I pulled up to the dumpsters, my headlights shone on something so horrible, that I instantly started yelling. Before I could form a thought, my brain had already told my mouth that we were seeing some heinous shit, and that we should be scared.  Scott, who had just been talking to me a second earlier, started screaming because I scared the hell out of him. Then he saw what caught my eye and he started yelling even louder. Who wouldn't freak out at the sight of half of a woman's body?

After what felt like hours of yelling at the top of our lungs, we both calmed  down and processed what we had seen. It took us a few seconds to realize just what it was that had frightened us to near pants peeing levels.






















Half a freakin' mannequin. Sitting next to a dumpster in a near pitch black parking lot with arms askew, this thing looked like the latest victim of the Eastern Shore Strangler. It took us a few minutes to get over the horror of the moment, but once we did, I can't remember many occasions where we've laughed harder. I'm talking can't breathe, eyes watering laughter. I'd like to think it was the counterweight to all the fear we had just experienced. As I was driving home, I remember thinking out loud, "A g-ddamned mannequin", which only caused us to break out into another fit of laughter.

Even now, the memory of that night makes me chuckle. Here we were; two big, strong guys, and all of our bravery and bravado disappeared the moment my headlights shone on a plastic woman laying on the ground.

I think it goes without saying, we kept our asses home the rest of that night.
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