Showing posts with label brain dead zombies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brain dead zombies. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Halloween Countdown: Stunt Zombie Takeover!!!!!

Dear faithful Stunt Zombie Readers: 
        This blog is being taken over.  That's right, you heard me.  I'm taking control of the blog (the 'I' being Chelsea of the awesome blog "Books, Booze and Bitchin" at wordpress).  Don't worry though, this is not a hostile takeover.  Nor is it a cheesy ploy to draw readers to my page.  Stunt Zombie was called away on family business (yes, just like the mafia) and has graciously obliged to let me continue his 31 days to Halloween Countdown.  We're amending the "31 days of posts" to "31 posts in 31 days"!  A subtle change but one that will allow us to catch up without readers crying foul.  
       I'd like to apologize in advance to Chris' readers, as I am not a seasoned blogger.  I shall do my best so please go easy on me with the comments!  With no further delay, let's get on with it already!

      My "first" post is going to be on 'Brain Dead Zombies'.  You may remember that Chris made a post about this neat little guy about a week ago.  Back then he was just a wee little zombie, always teased by the bigger and more decomposed zombies on the playground.  Well sir, you better just watch out because he has indeed grown in his watery grave (see what I did there?!) and is now a man!  Mazel tov!  
I'd like to point out that the artwork on the cover of "The Monster Book of Zombies" has the exact stance as the Brain Dead Zombie.  Ya know, Chris has such an affinity for naming his toys I'm gonna go ahead and name our zombie.  He kind of looks like a Fred to me.  Plus I don't know anyone named Fred so I can't personally offend anyone who has my phone number or direct contact with me!  Oh, I'd like to take this opportunity to let everyone know that I'm really bad at taking pictures.  Like, really super bad!  This has been pointed out to me on numerous occasions so I'll just throw that apology out there again in the hopes that you won't hold these posts against Chris!  
So, as you can see, Fred has indeed grown quite a bit in a week.  I really wish that he could stand on his own but if you look closely at the photo you can see he's being propped up by the camera's tripod.  While the dye on his clothing has stayed in tact there has been some loss in overall appearance.  I suppose growing to 600% of your original size will do that to you.
As we can see from this photo (besides the blatantly obvious fact that I need photography classes) is that Fred got beat up on the playground prior to his sudden growth spurt and now has a black eye and some missing teeth.  Tsk tsk Fred, what would your mother say...if you hadn't already eaten her brains.
Now Fred, just because Dr. Rodney Rathbone, Vampyre, Zombie Evil Kenevil and random chauffeur picked on you when you were small, that doesn't give you the right to beat up on them. There was a claim in the original post that went something like "Charge him up after he finishes growing, and you can probably use him to read."  Well folks, I don't think you could read by the light of Fred but he does put off enough radiance to potentially keep you from stubbing your toe in a blackout.
That's all the time we have tonight readers.  I hope you enjoyed my first guest blog and have not deleted your link to Stunt Zombie whilest putting a block on further attempts to read future posts!  If all goes as planned I'll be back tomorrow with another in the continuing saga of "31 posts in 31 days, Countdown to Halloween 2013!"
Ahoy!

Monday, October 7, 2013

Halloween Countdown- Brain Dead Zombies....That Grow!

Zombies have become insanely popular within the past 6 or 7 years. Between the hundreds of zombie movies, comics, novels, video games, and a hit tv show, they have invaded almost every sector of popular culture. There's even a new magazine that caters to the zombie apocalypse enthusiast. I enjoy a good zombie flick, but I draw the line at stockpiling actual food and ammo. Honestly, I was starting to get a little burnt out on zombies. When it comes to monsters, they don't quite have the panache as a Dracula or a Creature from the Black Lagoon. Then one day, I made a random trip into Dollar Tree and found this:



I was on my way out of the store, when I saw the card out of the corner of my eye. Most of the toys in the dollar stores look cheaper than they cost, and that includes their packaging as well. You're lucky if the toy makes it past the cash register before the plastic bubble starts peeling off the front, spilling your new action figure and all of its accessories on the candy shelves. But this little zombie, this looked legit. It's hard to believe that he only cost a buck ($1.05 w/tax).

Let's take a closer look at that cardback. Starting at the top, we have the yellow and black caution tape, a common sight in the world of zombies. Police are always taping up doors with the stuff, and curious people are always ripping it down so they can get a peek at the crime scene. Then zombies are ripping into their flesh because the people tore down the caution tape the police put up. Then the police have to put up more tape...it's a vicious cycle. Literally. In, the upper left corner we have a large, fresh brain, because zombies love them brains. Then we get down to the logo, and what a logo it is. "Brain Dead Zombies", with a suitably decaying "Zombies". I'm not sure we need the "Brain Dead" part of the title, since that's kinda what makes a zombie a zombie. Still, some folks take artistic license with what a zombie is supposed to be, so it's nice to know what kind we're dealing with here. We also get an arm thrusting up from the dirt, just to remind us that we're walking on dead people, everywhere, everyday. Sometimes they might get pissed off about that. After that, things get really interesting. "Grow a Zombie", it tells us. No exclamation points, no excitement. I would hesitate to call that a statement. It really comes off more like a command. I honestly believe it originally said "Grow a Zombie....Or Else". Right under there, a puzzling phrase, "Zombie Croissant". Wait, is this a figurine or a French pastry? The last item of note is the illustration of the zombie off to the left. It's actually a pretty good drawing, almost webcomic quality.


According to the package, this zombie will grow to 600% of its original size. I got really excited before I realized there's an important distinction between a percentage sign, and a multiplication sign. There go my hopes of having a zombie wingman for any Halloween party mixers.. See that little blurb to the right? The one that yells "Glows in the Dark!". Well, I didn't see it until just now. I've had this thing for over a month, and I completely blocked it out. I used to never care about things that would glow in the dark, but lately, I've become fascinated by things that glow. I bet you're curious to know what this thing looks like in the dark now, aren't you? I know I was..


This was after holding him over a light for a few seconds. Give it a couple of hours, and I bet he would light up a room. Charge him up after he finishes growing, and you can probably use him to read.


Okay, it's time to toss this sucker in some water, and start growing some zombie! When I ripped open the package, I was assaulted by the smell of mothballs. Random, I know, but there it is. This guy actually has some decent detail for what he is. It's hard to see some of the details on his arms and hands, but the face looks great. I especially love the bulging eye ball. You just know that thing is one stubbed toe away from popping out of his skull. You know, it actually reminds me of the old "Dawn of the Dead" poster.


It's not perfect, but I can see it. Going by the directions of the back of the card, the zombie will need at least 3 days of soaking for the best results. If we want the best results, it's going to take at least a week. So, pretty much the same as the Monster Eyeball from last year. Well, let's toss him in his new home for the next week, and see what happens.


Stay tuned..if you dare!
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