Sunday, April 30, 2017

Thomas' Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins


I know they're not made of plastic, and they aren't the usual sugary snack, but these just sounded too interesting not to pick up.




Thomas' English Muffins were always a special treat growing up. I love me some toasted Wonder Bread, but Thomas', with their nooks and crannies, and chewable texture, were a whole other experience entirely. I'm not sure what it is with me a chewy bread things, but I love them. They seemed more exotic that the standard white toast. Back then, Thomas' English Muffins only came in two flavors: Plain and Cinnamon Raisin. Of course, pretty much every bread product came in those two flavors those days. If it wasn't wheat, white, or bran, you were gonna have raisins in your bread. Now, Thomas' appears to be trying to become the Oreo of the English muffin world.


Here you can get a good look at all those nooks and crannies. I honestly don't know why they were such a selling point for english muffins. Browsing through old Thomas' commercials, that was their main focus. Not the flavor, but all those holes and crusty bits sticking off the muffins. . It's not like I was having problems with butter and jelly just sliding off  my Wonder Bread. Maybe it was something about the way butter and jelly seemed to mix in the nooks and crannies, combining into a deliciously salty, sweet mess. Now that I think about it, that's actually a damn good selling point.

Upon opening the package of Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins, I was greeted with a slightly sour, maple-y aroma, with a faint hint of bacon. I was a little worried they were already starting to get moldy, but I think the sour might be from the buttermilk. So, bullet dodged there.
If you look close enough, you might be able to pick out the pieces of "bacon" sprinkled about. I bet you're wondering why bacon was in quotes. Well, the only place I saw bacon was on the front of the package, not among the rather lengthy list of ingredients. But, I'm willing to withhold judgement until I actually taste them.


I popped the Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English Muffins in the toaster, and was greeted the smell of maple syrup and "bacon". I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it was like the smell of fresh bacon cooking in a frying pan, more like the smell of a kitchen two hours after someone has had pancakes and syrup with some bacon.


Since our toaster is old and getting a little lazy, it took 1 and a half trips through to get the English muffins toasted up like I like them. While the bread burner was doing its thing, I whipped up some somewhat scrambled eggs and yogurt with fruit for what looks to me like a well balanced breakfast. This much food will usually hold me until 10 AM, at which point I'll need to get a snack in me, or I'm total jackass until lunch. Hard to believe a bowl of cereal used to be able to keep me full until 12.

Toasting the Bacon Buttermilk Pancake English muffins brings out the maple and bacon, completely overpowering the sour scent from when they were uncooked. I was worried it would be sickeningly sweet, kind of like the muffin halves of a McGriddle, but the maple was surprisingly subdued. I don't know if this makes any sense at all, but, they manage to taste like syrup without being sweet. Wrap your mind around that one. The bacon, on the other hand, is hit and miss. I'm pretty sure these tiny brownish red pieces are really just Bacon Bits, or whatever those little processed lumps of soy are called. Still, they're rather crispy, and they really do taste like bacon. The problem is that they really aren't distributed through the muffins that well. I've had two now that seemed to be completely devoid of "bacon". I would have liked to see the real thing mixed in the batter, but then these would have cost $5.99 instead of $2.99.

Ultimately, I don't know that I would pick these up again.  They aren't bad, but they fall a bit short in the flavor department. They've still go those nooks and crannies, though.

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