Wednesday, January 13, 2016

We got a wedding gun.

I used to be a bit of a gun nut. I'd read every gun magazine I could get my hands on. I had a book that covered all of the military small arms of the 20th century. In fact, I think the title was Military Small Arms of the 20th Century. You couldn't watch an action movie without me blurting out the different guns that showed up on screen. Yeah, I was a little weird.

By the time I was 15 or 16, I had a decent little collection, with a few shotguns and a couple of rifles taking up space in my gun cabinet. The first few guns were gifts from my parents and family, while I actually bought the others on my own. With permission, of course. There was never much thought put into them as weapons. Sure, I knew that they could seriously hurt someone, but to me, they were just a means to go hunting, or to go shoot some targets at the farm. It was always exciting to try a new gun, even if it meant I was going to be dealing with a sore shoulder for the next few days. It was a hobby, if a bit of a dangerous one.

As with most things my parents got me into, firearms were promoted as collectibles, things I should hold on to so they'll go up in value. Then I can pass them on to my kids, and they could give them to my grandchildren, etc.. They said the same thing when they got me into comic books in the early 90's. I'm not sure which is worth more these days, the guns or the comics, but I'd probably get more enjoyment out of the comics. Over the years, my collection has grown and shrunk, and I was at a point where I didn't really care to add anything else to it. I already have a cabinet full of guns that don't get shot. I feel like I spend most of my time chasing away the rust.

In other words, I've handled guns a long time, so I feel pretty comfortable being around them in sane and responsible hands. I'm also used to getting them as gifts, since that's how I came to have most of my little arsenal. And that leads me into the second part of the post..



It was the day after the wedding, all our family and friends had cleared out, and we were relishing our first quiet night as husband and wife. We figured it would be a great time to go through our gifts. I'm not going to lie, I love getting gifts. It's not the most important part of the holidays, but who doesn't love getting something, right? So, we're going through these gifts, and I get to a gift bag from one of my groomsmen that's pretty heavy. I don't really know what to expect, because this bag feels heavier than the robotic trash can we had just opened. Also, I don't know who the manufacturer of that gift bag was, but good on you. It held way more weight than it should have. I set this bag on the table, take out the tissue paper inside, and I find this box:


Chelsea and I looked at each other, and both said the same thing, "No way!". I figured it was a joke. He's probably packed the case full of mini bottles. He knows how we like to drink. I lay the box down, pop the top, and..

Don't worry, it wasn't actually loaded when I opened the box.
Chelsea and I were both stunned for a second. I think I finally said something along the lines of "Holy shit!", because, holy shit, he gave us a Glock! Then, as I lifted it out of the box, something else caught my eye.



I'm not often stunned to the point of silence, but this is one of the few times it's happened. Even Chelsea, who isn't particularly fond of guns, but doesn't mind them either, grabbed it out of my hand so she could get a closer look. I can't say for certain, but I think she may have started to tear up a little bit. Don't tell her, but I think I may have, too.

If you're not familiar with firearms, this particular model is a Glock 21SF, SF meaning "short frame". You see, this gun is chambered for .45ACP, which necessitates a rather large grip to accommodate the double stack magazines. When the original was released in the 90's, people complained about the width and thickness of the grip making it hard for shooters with smaller hands to hold the gun. 10 years later, Glock listened and released this version that had a grip with a smaller circumference. So, people like me, with hands that seem larger than they are, could actually hold the gun. Most folks find Glocks to be pretty boring, but I'm excited about any handgun that can hold 13 rounds in a magazine and still fit my hands. Speaking of magazines..



If you look to the right, you'll notice that magazine is just slightly longer than a stock Glock mag. That behemoth is from the Kriss Super-V submachine gun. The interesting thing about the Kriss, other than the fact we almost share the same name, is that it was designed to use Glock mags. Eventually, they introduced an adapter that allowed users to expand capacity from 13 rounds, to 30. That's right, 30 bullets in one place. It makes the gun more useful for military and police that actually use it, since it's pretty easy to burn through 13 rounds on full auto faster than you can sneeze.


This shot shows you what the 21SF looks like with a standard magazine in place.


And this is with the extended magazine in the grip. Fully loaded, I'm pretty sure that mag alone weighs more than the gun loaded with a standard magazine. It's a bit of a chore to hold it up. That's a lot of weight hanging out there. It actually looks a little comical. It's reminiscent of the guns I used to draw in my homemade comics, except those had more spikes and one or more chainsaws attached.


As you can see, the 21SF is considerably larger than the Glock 26 that serves as my "I'd feel a little safer with a gun" gun. I doubt I'll go shoving the 21SF in my waistband, especially since things are already getting a bit snug with the smaller pistol these days. I prefer a little more discretion when I'm actually carrying a firearm, and I'm afraid it might look like I have a conjoined twin if I tried concealing the 21SF. Now that i think about it, that might actually be a better deterrent. No one is going to mess with you if there's a possibility there's another person hiding under your shirt.

In the end, we got a lot of great wedding gifts. Really, all of them were amazing and very much appreciated. So, if you're a friend or family reading this, it's not that I didn't like your gift enough to write about it. It's just that it's easier to imagine myself repelling the alien invasion with a Glock in my hand, rather than a new set of bath towels.

I bet they'd sting if I whipped an alien with one though.

15 comments:

  1. You know,I was never a pro gun kind of guy,but man ,these days It seems like the only way to go.Ya gotta protect you and yours.

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    1. Don't worry Tony, the world's a lot safer than the media would like you to believe ;).

      Honestly though, if you go the gun route, obtain as much training as you can comfortably afford. Having a gun in the house is a huge responsibility as well as a liability, and it will do no good if you don't know how to use it. At the minimum, at least take a few safety classes.

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  2. Starting off wedding life with a bang i see lol...yeah i know bad pun.

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    1. That's it John, go sit in the corner and think about that pun.lol

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    2. You would have gotten more views if you had titled this post 'Look what I banged on my wedding night' HAW HAW HAW the puns just won't stop up in here!

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    3. Ooph! That one was so bad it physically hurt.

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    4. You say incredible, I say the comments have been pun-ishing.

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  3. That looks awesome with the extended clip.

    That's a heck of a wedding gift too! I love it!

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    1. It's a blast to shoot too. And, with the extended mag, I don't have to reload as much. Of course, I can't help but think there's $25 worth of ammo in those three mags.

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  4. Wow, that's one generous wedding gift! I grew up around guns, my Dad collects them. I've always wanted to have a gun of my own, but alas, my wife is terrified of them. She didn't grow up with guns and fears what she doesn't understand. I wonder how she would have reacted if we'd received a gun as a wedding gift, lol!

    Since a gun is pretty much a no-no, I have to settle for more rudimentary weapons like knives and clubs.

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    1. My wife was the same way, and then I took her to the range a few times, and we actually went to a concealed carry course together. That was one of her stipulations before I brought guns in the house. She wanted to make sure that she knew how to use them. I kinda agree. Even if Chelsea never intends to shoot someone, at least she knows how to unload and deactivate a pistol. She still doesn't like them, but I guess you could say she puts up with them.

      But then again, she did give me the smaller Glock as a gift a few Christmases ago, so maybe she likes them more than she lets on.

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  5. If you do your research to discover who makes the best gun safe, then find a reputable company that sells online, you can save lots of dough and have a pleasant buying experience. best gun safe

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  6. a pretty odd wedding gift. I mean a handgun! Anyway as for the piece, no doubt it is a crafty one. Just don't be tempted to use it, and everything will be fine.

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  7. I'd never had known anyone would give a gun as a wedding gift. You can give it as a birthday gift but never thought as a wedding gift. Funny! But, on the other side, I think that's pretty sweet! They were thinking of your safety and they do care. So that's why they give a gun as a wedding gift. I know most of us, were very skeptical about having guns however I do really believe that it depends on how you to take responsibility and using it in a right manner.

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