Thursday, October 15, 2015

Sky Bar Zombie Food

Hello ladies and villains! It's your ol' pal Stunt Zombie, back from a short hiatus. I hate that I've missed so much of the month, but I was a little preoccupied with a slight case of marriage. That's right everyone, now there's a Mrs. Stunt Zombie. Who woulda thunk it? Anyhow, I plan on making the most of the rest of the month, starting now. Today, I'm gonna tell you all about Sky Bar Zombie Food.




If you've never heard of Sky Bar, then sit down, maker yourself a drink, and relax for a spell. First produced in 1938 by NECCO, Sky Bar was the first candy bar to have four different flavors encased in chocolate. Each one was made up of four chocolate chambers filled with caramel, vanilla, peanut, and fudge. It seems the name "Sky Bar" came from the fact that NECCO launched a huge skywriting campaign to advertise the candies, rather than relying on radio ads. And now, 77 years later, they're making foodstuffs for the undead.

When I first picked up the bag, I actually thought it was beef jerky. Because, oh my god, whoever makes that stuff is missing out by not marketing it as zombie food. Can you imagine how many people would buy that? It's not like we all want to be cannibals, but who wouldn't want to pretend to be a zombie chowing down on some human if they had a chance? So, yeah. I was slightly disappointed to discover that it was just caramel filled chocolate. Still, it comes in a really great bag, though I still see something different every time I look at it. I mean, just tell me you didn't think that bloody heart wasn't a nose at first. Then I saw what I thought to be nostrils below that, but now I'm thinking they're just a couple of zombie silhouettes.  We also have a pool of red goo somehow sitting on top of the zombie's teeth..I admit, it's all a bit confusing.


Just in case you thought you were going to eat that whole bag of chocolate yourself, Sky Bar went and individually wrapped each piece. I guess you could technically eat the whole bag yourself, but who wants to go through the trouble of opening each piece? No, Sky Bar intended for you to hand these out to all the little unsuspecting kiddies that come knocking on your door. The sealed wrapper is a sign you didn't slip any razor blades or rabid wolverines in their chocolate. Oh, and about that wrapper; isn't it glorious? I love the green "Zombie Food" on the very yellow and red background. I'm also digging what appears to be a zombie doing the breast stroke through a pool of blood. Or maybe he's wading through a blood filled basement. If that's the case, he should probably call a plumber.


Each bag contains three different chocolate shapes; hearts, feet, and brains. They're surprisingly detailed, and I have to say, I'm impressed by the rather accurate representation of the heart. I'm pretty sure they got all the ventricles and arteries in there, and there's some good veining toward the bottom. NECCO should definitely keep these around for Valentine's day, and just release a box full of actual heart shaped candies. What? It's not that morbid..

Next up we have...feet. I don't like the feet. They're detailed enough, with their scars, and what looks like an ankle bone sticking out of the top. It's just that I don't like feet. At all. Somehow, that bothers me more than a disembodied heart. You know those little sticky slapper things you could get out of the vending machines back in the 80's? I would get pissed off whenever I got one shaped like a foot. I'm not quite sure what it is, but something about feet just bug the hell out of me. Still, for those folks that aren't bothered by foot shaped objects, these aren't too bad.

Last we have the brains. There's not much to say about the brains, other than they look a lot like the egg shaped candies with some added details. I tell you, Mars Inc. missed out by not releasing brain textured candies for the Halloween season. Keep it in mind for next year fellas, and make sure to send me a dollar or two for coming up with the idea.


The front of the bag promises chocolate brains, hearts, and feet filled with oozing red caramel, and boy, do they deliver. Each piece is filled to the brim, and the slightest nibble will send a flood of red caramel gushing out all over your face. Okay, so that might be a bit dramatic and slightly dirty. The caramel doesn't exactly gush, it barely even oozes. Still, it's one of the most magnificent shades of red I've ever seen. We're talking strawberry jam red. It's the sort of red you'd see in a low budget horror flick that got a great deal on corn syrup. They're rather delicious too. There isn't much there other than milk chocolate and caramel, but I'm just happy that all the food coloring didn't give it a weird flavor. It's reminiscent of Caramello, just not as runny. I consider that a good thing, since I can't seem to eat one of those without making a mess of myself.

 So, go pick up a bag or two for the Trick R Treaters, and save the leftovers for yourself. Trust me, kids are always looking for an excuse to eat foods shaped like body parts, and any house that hands these out will never have to worry about cleaning up eggs or toilet paper.

Hell, I might knock on my own door in the hopes of getting some of these.

5 comments:

  1. Maybe I missed It In the post but where did you get these?

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  2. I completely forgot to mention that. I got them at Walmart, in their seasonal food section.

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  3. I've never even heard or tasted a Skybar, but if this is any indication, it could be my favorite candy. I wanna eat a chocolate foot!

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    Replies
    1. I feel like I had one at one time, but I'm not 100% on that. Personally, I like these, though I think they're even better when they're right at the point where they start melting. Chelsea wasn't a fan, but I think that was more to do with the really red caramel.

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  4. Body parts-shaped chocolate DO exist! Just give the brain a pink coating and it would be perfect!!

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