Thursday, October 9, 2014

It's Halloween decoration time!

Chelsea and I started getting the house ready for Halloween last weekend. Well, mostly Chelsea, though I helped set up a few things. I enjoy decorations, but I hate decorating. Weird, right? It's the same for Christmas. I enjoy getting the tree and setting it up, but I couldn't care less about decorating the rest of the house. I just want to sit there and sip my hot chocolate and watch the lights twinkle. Same with Halloween. I just want to sit there, staring at a zombie stuck to my wall, while I sip blood from a skull chalice.

I was a little premature taking this picture, since Chelsea wasn't quite done setting stuff out. The pumpkins still need to be carved, but we prefer to wait until the week of Halloween. We don't want the little children stomping through rotten pumpkins, do we? You can see Grey, one of our cats, trying to figure out why there is a tombstone on the porch with her name on it. I find one more hairball Grey, and you'll find out.

This is a bad time of the year for tree ghouls around here. If you think fruit flies are bad, just imagine how annoying it is to have one of these guys floating around going "Woooooh!" and "Ahhhhhhh!" in your ears while you're trying to watch a movie. They don't have any sense of personal space and they leave slime stains everywhere. The smell of old ectoplasm has almost become unbearable. At least, I hope that's just ectoplasm..

The spiders get more ridiculous the closer we get to Halloween. Gone are the usual wolf spiders and orb weavers. In their place we have the Tufted Bush Spider. It sounds cute, but it's a nasty little critter. As you can see, they prefer to make their homes in your home's surrounding greenery, waiting for any inattentive children or bats to come by. This one told me he's particularly fond of bats. They're crunchy and can't get away as easily as the children. Oh, I forgot to mention they talk too? Well they do. They're rather chatty for arachnids.

Ugh, this guy again. You know how it goes. You have to bury somebody, but you're got someplace to be, so you only dig down a couple feet and toss the body in. This is a lesson in not taking the easy way out. Dig deep, and use a sturdy box, otherwise your past transgressions will keep coming back to haunt you. This guy doesn't seem smart enough or strong enough to finish clawing his way out, so I decided to leave him as is. Besides, his muffled screams only add to the ambiance.

Even Dug got in on the decorating. He hates it when people don't pay attention to him, so he reasoned people would notice him if he lit up at night. I can't really disagree; folks would certainly notice a bright orange colored dog. I do have to wonder if he's willing to spend all night next to an electrical outlet, though I highly doubt he thought that far ahead. Maybe I can rig up a battery on a cart that he can tow around.

Those are the highlights so far. There are still 3 or 4 totes full of decorations that will go up the week of Halloween, right before our somewhat annual party. Then everything will come down the next day to make way for Thanksgiving decorations. That's right, Chelsea decorates for Thanksgiving.

So, if any of you folks are going to be in Virginia Halloween weekend, you're more than welcome to come attend our little soiree. If you do stop by, please make sure you use the front door...

It's not a trap. I promise.


  1. I SO miss decorating my house for Halloween. Then again I was a JW and never did it past 8 years old. BUT..I would like to do it again one day.

  2. That image of your dog made me genuinely lol.

    1. He's a cute little mutt, isn't he? I could actually see him rolling around in those things until he was all wrapped up in them.

  3. Replies
    1. Thanks John. It's definitely still a work in progress.

  4. Gosh, I love this post, specially the part when you advice all serial killers how to dispose human corpses the right way :D


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