Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Batman Returns Bruce Wayne is ready for Halloween!

Today's post is about a billionaire playboy orphan egomaniac with an awesome car.



Released in 1992, Bruce Wayne was released in the Batman Returns line by Kenner. This is actually the second time this figure was produced, with the first being from the pre-sequel Dark Knight Collection. I know it may seem a bit farfetched, writing about Bruce Wayne during the Halloween Countdown, but stick around for a bit. I'll get you there.



I love the illustration of Bruce on the card. The Keaton likeness isn't too bad actually, and it looks quite a bit like him if you turn your head to the side and look at him from the corner of your eye. It's a good mix of comic and movie Bruce Waynes. My favorite part of the face is that smug look Bruce has. That's the look of a man that's a bit annoyed about seeing the Bat signal in the sky once again. He was probably kicked back with a good book and a bottle of wine, or maybe he was entertaining one of his many lady friends. He didn't even bother with going down to the Batcave. He just walked over to the closet, and pulled on his quick change armor. That's the kind of look that says, "This will only take a second baby, stay right there. Why don't you get another glass of the 1943 Chateau du Toilette?"


Most of the other Batman figures from this line were all repaints of the Super Powers version. Bruce here is one of the few that has his own unique sculpt. He's also one of the most stylish, next to the Joker, of course. Bruce is decked out in a turtleneck and a what appear to be a pair of black spandex pants. Bruce was obviously a fashion icon in the late 1980's. I love how there's a stylized version of the Batman symbol on his sweatshirt. I didn't pick it up at first, but after staring at it for a few hours, I'm positive that's what it is. I really have no idea why he would have an abstract Bat-symbol on his shirt. Did Batman somehow negotiate some sort of clothing deal?


Bruce Wayne also comes with what has to be the largest cell phone ever made. Forget a brick, that thing is a cinder block. With a phone that size, I have to imagine that it runs on a car battery. No wonder Bruce is so buff, if he has to carry that thing around all day. It also has a small click wheel on the side. I'm not sure what else to say about that. Maybe it's so you can pretend Batman is talking to the dolphins?


So Bruce looks up in the sky and sees the Bat-signal on a passing cloud. It seems Batman is needed to save the day once again. Well, it's a good thing Bruce has his quick change armor close by. All he has to do is don his mask, cape, chest piece, gauntlets and boots, and he's ready to go!


And here's Batman, all suited up and ready to thwart the next criminal plot. Sure, he looks like he's wearing Hulk hands, and one gauntlet is forever clutching a Batarang, but evil doesn't care how ridiculous you look. Also, his head doubles in size when you put the cowl on. Maybe there's a bike helmet hidden in that thing. As silly as the figure looks with the armor on, I have to admit that it feels pretty solid. The gloves in particular are actually pretty hard to put on, so they're not coming off on their own. The cape is permanently attached to the cowl, so you don't have to worry about it coming off and getting lost. It's comforting to know that I could hold him out the window on my way to work, and watch his cape flutter without having to worry that it will come off mid flight.



Like a lot of Kenner's other figures, the Batman cardbacks always showed you the other toys available within that line. This one gives you an idea of just how ridiculous some of these suits were. I always thought that Arctic Batman would have been better suited for fighting Mr. Freeze, rather than the Penguin. He even has a dome over his head, just like the icy villain. I actually had a couple of these other figures, Air Attack Batman and Deep Dive Batman. AA Bats was pretty cool with his heavily armed jet suit and cool camouflage costume, but Deep Dive Batman always irked me with his bright color scheme. Wouldn't it be better to blend in with the water, rather than stand out like a beacon? I also had the Robin figure, which was probably one of my favorites. I think it was the two-toned cape. I'm always a sucker for a figure with a cool cape. I was always puzzled by his inclusion since he wasn't actually in the movie. Then I find out he was going to be played by a Wayans brother and I realized it was probably for the best the character was cut from an already crowded flick.


When I saw the Batman Armor set on the back of the card, I had an epiphany. This isn't Bruce Wayne as a crime fighter. This is a Bruce Wayne in an alternate reality, where he's just a regular billionaire egomaniac looking to win the costume contest and score with the ladies. That explains why it looks so shoddy. Bruce might be one of the richest men in the world, but he's an awful seamstress. Now that smug look of his makes perfect sense.


"Which one of you lovely ladies wants to slide down the Bat-pole?"

12 comments:

  1. Awesome post!As kids we didn't care about how the armor looked.The fact that It was removable trumped the aesthetics factor.Kind of like that Toy Biz Iron Man.Great pick up Chris!

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    1. Thanks Tony. I was actually thinking about that Iron Man The entire time I was writing the post.

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  2. Surprisingly detailed face on this one!

    And heh, I was going to say that the armour is actually surprisingly decent for this style of toy (I remember seeing some others that just look totally out of proportion in either in or out of the armour - or worse, both!). The gloves here are pretty ridiculous though.

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    1. It honestly isn't that bad. It definitely isn't going to come off on its own. Those gloves though, man. They should have just gone with sculpted ones on this figure.

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  3. Got to love the early 90's hilariously oversized cellphone ! My brother always called him the "Wild Cherry Pepsi" Bruce Wayne because he thought that red on his shirt looked like the writing on the the Wild Cherry Pepsi cans from that time.

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    1. I gotta agree with your brother on that one. It wasn't until I had him in my hands that I realized it was a bat.

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  4. This was my favorite of all the Batman figures - costume contest and all!

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  5. A classic! I love this one. Also: VI-DE-OH!

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  6. I liked this Bruce too. I had all my Bruces fight each other though. Yeah, I was a weird kid.

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    1. With so many Batman figures, and so few villains in the line, you didn't have much choice.

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  7. These quick change toys are always fun.

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    1. That they are. I might have to locate a few more so they can all get together and have a Halloween costume party.

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