Friday, September 27, 2013

Fun Food Friday: Frankenberry

The internet lost its collective mind a few weeks ago, when it was revealed that two long lost monster cereals, Frute Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy, were going to be released along with Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo Berry. The news that the two long lost cereals weren't just being rereleased, but released together for the first time blew everyone's minds. Then, when it was revealed that there were going to be Target exclusive retro boxes, people gathered up what was left of their minds, and had them blown once again. I got a little excited by all this, but mainly because I didn't know Frankenberry has been around the whole time. Here I've been, stuck in my own little world, thinking that the only monster cereal to see the light of day on a regular basis has been Count Chocula. Unfortunately, the only stores that carried any of these cereals were  over an hour away. As much as I love some strawberry flavored monster-y goodness, I'm not about to drive an hour just for a box. Thankfully Chelsea needed to make a trip across the bay last week, because she came home with a box of Frankenberry for me.

It's weird seeing the big, pink, goof in his original design. It's been over 20 years since I've seen a box of Frankenberry, and it takes me back to those irresponsible Saturday mornings of my youth. I don't mean to say that I was reckless, but beyond getting dressed, fixing my own breakfast, and staying out of trouble, there were very few Saturdays that I was required to do anything.

There's a comic on the back of the box detailing the reunion of all five monster cereal mascots. Apparently, Frank, Count, and Boo all got together to eat some cereal under the light of a fruity moon. I've seen a full moon and a hunter's moon, but I can't say I've ever heard of a fruity moon. Their late night snacking is interrupted by a strange sound, and when they go to investigate, they discover a wolf shaped silhouette howling at the fruity moon. The monsters retreat down the stairs, and hide in the basement, only to awaken a mummy from it's fruit filled slumber. Trapped between the two creatures, Frank, Boo, and Count think the situation is hopeless. They cower in fear, not knowing what to do next, when Frute Brute reveals that he only wants to borrow some milk. As for Fruity Yummy Mummy, he needs to borrow a spoon, because his is rather dusty from being locked up in a sarcophagus for the past 20 years. The monsters all have a good laugh, and when we seem them again, they're arguing about who should get the last bowl of milk. Those guys..

The side panel contains some Mega Monster Trivia questions. I didn't know the answers to any of them, so I guess that means I'm not a true fan. I bet you really want to know the answers, don't you? Well, you'll just have to buy yourself a box to see them, because I managed to cut them off in this picture. It's time to answer the most important question, how does the cereal taste?

Fans of Frankenberry may notice right away that something is amiss. The once pink marshmallows are now multi-colored. It's an odd change, and one that still puzzles me. Why use several colors when you only needed one? Something else was missing when I first tore open that plastic vault hidden under the box flaps. The smell. Frankenberry used to have this overpowering aroma of artificial strawberry, that could quickly fill a room with its sickening sweetness. Opening this box, there was a faint hint of berry and sweetnees that disappeared quickly. I was getting a little worried by this point, but I pushed on. I spilled some cereal into a bowl, poured in the milk, and prepared my mouth for an assault of strawberry goodness. I plunged the spoonful of cereal into my mouth, and my taste buds were instantly assaulted by..absolutely nothing. I take that back. It wouldn't be fair to say there was no flavor at all. There was a split secondtaste of strawberry, which was quickly overwhelmed by nothingness. It was like chewing cardboard. The marshmallows helped add some sweetness to the whole experience, but unlike previous generations of Frankenberry, they added nothing to the actual flavor. I managed to fight my way through the rest of the bowl, though the lack of flavor only seemed to get worse. At least it still managed to turn the milk pink at the end.

After my experiences with Boo Berry a couple of years ago, and now Frankenberry, I can honestly say I'm done with the monster cereals. Yeah, it's great that General Mills took the time to put out all the cereals in modern and retro boxes. What's the point if they aren't going to stick with the same recipe for the cereals? I know that everyone is so focused on health today, and most manufacturers have cut back on sugar content, but shouldn't I be able to eat something that isn't exactly healthy if I want to? General Mills, you've tickled my nostalgia bone, but you utterly disappointed my sense of taste.

There is a bright side to this. I'm pretty sure Fruity Yummy Mummy makes a dick joke at the end of the comic on the back.


  1. Still haven't cracked into my boxes of Yummy Mummy or Fruit Brute yet.

  2. Yep, definitely going to stick with Cocoa Puffs for my sugary cereal cravings!

  3. Mmm...Franken Berry. This was my fav of the monster cereals.

    1. I should have made an update. I ended up liking this one the more I had of it.

      Also, I'm starting to miss doing Fun Food Fridays. I need to get on that..


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