Saturday, June 8, 2013

League Assignment - Bring it back!


This week's assignment from the League of Extraordinary Bloggers:

"Bring it back! What product or media property would you like to see revived, and how would you imagine it being different today."

There are so many things I'd love to see brought back, but I worry that the modern world wouldn't be able to handle the awesomeness of some of them. Actually, I know exactly what I'd like to see revived;

Big Trouble in Little China!

I'm not going into the plot of the movie, because frankly, it's too damn weird for me to explain. It has kung-fu, magic, machine guns, demons, and most importantly, Kurt Russell as Jack Burton. 

So I have a bit of a man crush. Maybe you're weird because you don't!

Just a warning, there are spoilers below, so proceed at your own risk. 

So, at the end of BTILC, Jack kills Lo Pan, gets his truck back, and rescues Gracie Law, the cute reporter that has the hots for him. Then he goes against all action movie relationship rules and drives his truck off into the night, leaving the girl behind. He's not completely alone though, as it turns out he's picked up a demonic hitchhiker.

The last thing we see is that demon clawing it's way from under the truck, and laughing maniacally as Jack drives down the highway. Roll credits. 

It's been 26 years, and we still don't know Jack's fate. From what I understand, there were no plans made for a sequel, and I haven't been able to find evidence of even a rough script. With the success of movies like the Expendables though, I think there's still a market for the fun and light action movie. Besides, the ending has always bothered me, and I think there would be plenty of material for the sequel to cover. For example, how exactly does Jack survive the demon hitching a ride on his truck? Is Lo Pan really gone for good? He doesn't seem like the type of character to stay dead for long. He's kinda like a Chinese Freddy Krueger. I'd want to see more of Lo Pan's lair too. It seems like we only got a small glimpse of what he was hiding in his offices. Wang Chi mentions that the Chinese have thousands of Hells, and we only got to see a couple of them in the original movie. Bring me more Hells!  Also, show us more monsters. We had that shaggy creature and the floating eyeball guy, but we didn't get to see much else. There have to be more monsters prowling around Lo Pan's hallways.

Since most of the characters are getting up there in years, maybe we could have their children help Jack out on his adventure. It wouldn't end up like Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull though, that was just awful. These kids would actually be bad ass magicians and kung fu masters, not some greaser that swings around with the monkeys. If we bring back Lo Pan, we'd have to bring back the Three Storms, Rain, Thunder, and Lightning, as well. Maybe we could add one more in there, and call him Wind. Of course, that would set up a running joke where Jack brags about being the one that "broke Wind". In the end, good will triumph again, and they'll put Lo Pan down so they can enjoy a few more years of peace. Oh, and we'll have Jack and Gracie Law finally get together, and drive Jack's truck off into the sunset. Then the camera will pan down where we'll see a large hairy arm shoot up from under the truck, and we'll hear that same maniacal laughter from the end of the first movie. This movie would make a ton at the box office, so we'd have to leave it open for another sequel, right?

I almost forgot the title, though I'm sure it's pretty obvious. 

Bigger Trouble in Little China

What do the other League members want to revive?

Cal wants to see Star Trek: The College Years come back.

Lee and Linz want more Zombies Ate My Neighbors and Jem.

3B wants to bring back a sweet treat.

Infinite Hollywood wants to see more mech on mech action.

The Goodwill Geek wants to see more of the wrinkly, singing fruits.

The Trash Man says bring back the Tall Man!

Random Nerdness sees potential in some comic revivals.

VikkiErka thinks Cartoon Network made a Sym-Bionic Titanic mistake.

Brian is ready for more 25th adventures with Buck Rogers

Fortune and Glory (Days) thinks Men of a Certain Age weren't just some Deadwood.

Calvalcade of Awesome thinks we can rebuild him. 

Geek Life Balance thinks cereal boxes should be more constructive.

Miss M misses the bad ass women.

Nerd Rage thinks Dynaman is dynamite!


  1. I remember thinking at the time that they could have made this a weekly tv series because Jack can go from town to town with his truck and saving towns from supernatural monsters and evil. I can watch this movie anytime it's on.

    1. Now I'm second guessing myself. A BTILC tv show would have been amazing.

  2. I love this movie! I recently just introduced it to my oldest children, they are now Kurt Russell fans. It is a movie you just have to stop and watch

    1. It's definitely one of those movies I never get tired of seeing.


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