Sunday, November 18, 2012

RIP Hostess, and you choose my poison!

It seems the economy has claimed another industry giant, this time in the form of Hostess. In all honesty though, it seems that they've been in trouble for a while now, as this will be the second time they've filed for bankruptcy in the past decade.I guess the push for healthier lifestyles and the fight against obesity are having some negative effects on the snack food industry after all. Whatever the reason was, I can't deny that for me, Hostess will always be the king of snack food advertising.
I can just hear all the physicists screaming in anger over this one..



Nothing saves the day faster than a crippling addiction to sugar.
Apparently there were parallel DC and Marvel universes where the chief items of value were Hostess snacks. I imagine that after a couple years of pulling off daring Hostess snacks heists, most criminals would be taken down by Mr. Diabetes. It's a lot harder to commit crime when you're missing a couple of your legs, or you have to have a forklift to carry you to the scene of the crime.

I have to admit, I was always more of a fan of Little Debbie and Tastykake's snacks, though Hostess' fruit pies were my favorite of the bunch. In their heyday, they manufactured what seemed like a dozen different flavors. Just off the top of my head I remember Strawberry,  Boston Creme, Cherry, Lemon, Apple, Blueberry, and Pudding pies. Hostess also produced the much loved Turtle Pies as a tie-in to the just released TMNT movie.They featured a green crust filled with vanilla pudding POWER!. They were a thing of beauty, and there are people out there that still remember where they were when they heard Turtle Pies were discontinued.

I actually picked up a couple of fruit pies while I was at Wal-Mart earlier today, and they happened to be my least favorite flavors, Lemon and Apple.


I was going to do a taste test for my loyal friends and readers, but I made the mistake of glancing at the information panel on the back. Each pie has close to 500 calories, and over 50% of a normal person's daily intake of saturated fat. I could probably drink a six-pack of beer and do less harm to my body. I don't even think I was in high school the last time I had one of these things, so I'm a little concerned what effect they will have on my rundown and aged body.  However, I'm willing to put myself in mortal danger for those of you that suffer through my blog, so I'm going to hold a poll to see which pie I eat. Just leave me a comment on here or on my Facebook page and tell me which flavor you want me to try. I'll let it go until next Saturday, where I will eat the pie with the most votes, and document my progress. I have a feeling it's not going to be easy, and I doubt that it will end well. So place your votes, and I promise to do my best to make my suffering as entertaining as possible.



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