Saturday, November 3, 2012

How did they get here?

So I'm stealing this idea from Johnny Virgil over at 15 Minute Lunch, mainly because I'm feeling lazy tonight, and this stuff pretty much writes itself. Also, get mad if you want, but Johnny is a lot better at this than I am, so I don't think he'll mind too much.

I was looking through all of my stats through Google Analytics, mainly because I'm trying to see if I'm just talking to myself in front of millions, or if there actually are people out there reading this. Turns out there are a couple of you that come and visit now and then of your own free will, while all the rest end up here because of some horrible Google search accident. Some of the search terms that led folks here were rather baffling, and I just felt the need to share some of them with you.

6 inch ruler actual size-  There's always some guy out there that can't believe the facts, even when he's looking down at them. Sorry, but the 6 inch ruler is just that.

adventure time candy corn rat- This one caught me off guard. I figured someone forgot to delete the previous search terms, and ended up with this oddity. Turns out, it's actual character from the show Adventure Time.

Awww...isn't he cute?

bad reflection- Perhaps it isn't the reflection that's bad, but what's in it.

fancier king kong- Apparently regular ol' King Kong wasn't good enough for this searcher. They like their giant monkeys dressed up. I can actually picture King Kong wearing a brimmed hat and striped suit. Oh, and a monocle, can't forget the monocle.

give me a name-'s kind of hard since I don't know you, but I'll go with Dumpy McFartalot.

hand caught in shredder- Do yourself a favor and don't Google that phrase. It is not pleasant. The weird thing is, there are several other searches for the same thing, just worded a bit differently. After the first search you come up with all the pictures of hands caught in shredders that you need.

how to carve frankenstein into a pumpkin- I'm assuming you meant Frankenstein's Monster, in which case, you'll need strong ropes to keep him in place, and large pumpkin you can stuff him into when you're done carving it.

halloween pumpkin vampire- "Bloody Hell! This pumpkin's been sucked dry!" I know what they were probably looking for, but don't tell me you don't chuckle even a little bit picturing Dracula creeping through a pumpkin patch looking for his next victim.

oncoming car- I'd like to think they did this search while they were driving.

mr. pumpkin ass-

And on that note, I am going to spend the rest of my night trying to isolate and destroy the brain cells that may remember the results of some of these searches.

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