Friday, November 30, 2012

Fun Food Friday -Hostess Lemon Fruit Pie

Welcome to the first Fun Food Friday..or should it be Food Fun Friday, or Friday Fun Food? Either way, I'm going to try to make a weekly post spotlighting some sort of snack food or restaurant dish. Eating out is pretty spendy these days though, so expect more snack food posts. Today's food is one of the Hostess Fruit Pies I picked up a couple weeks ago. Since no one took part in my poll, or even left me a comment, I'll just assume you were all worried about my well being, and refused to take part in my suffering. Unfortunately, I'm a glutton for punishment, so I decided to go ahead and try one of the pies before they were completely stale.

Out of the package, I have a couple of observations. The lack of smell concerns me just a little. Usually these kinds of snack pies have a sickening sweet smell, while this one has more of a old sugar and cardboard aroma. Speaking of cardboard, just look at the outside of this thing. It looks like someone made a model of a Hostess Fruit Pie out of a box, and then covered it in Elmer's Glue. I also discovered, accidently I might add, that these pies are pretty durable. I know that because this one has fallen off the top of the fridge at least twice now, and there are no cracks in its pastry shell. Either this thing really is part cardboard, or it healed while it was sitting around in the kitchen. Finally, these things are HUGE.

Hostess Fruit Pies didn't cover that much of my hand when I was 7 years old. I swear these things have gotten bigger over the years. You can provide all the facts and figures that you want, but there's no way you can convince me otherwise. Reese's Cups and Cadbury Eggs may be shrinking, but the Fruit Pies are ever-growing.

Before I put this thing in my face, let's look at some numbers shall we? One pie is considered one serving, and the Lemon pies contain 490 calories. 200 of those are from fat. Total fat is 22g, with 11 of that being saturated. That's 55% of your recommended intake. Sodium isn't too bad at 420mg, but the carbs and sugar are off the chart at 69g and 38g respectively. But hey, it has 4g of protein for all that muscle building. I understand that they were never advertised as health food, but there are fast food burgers that aren't as bad.

Okay, enough dilly dallying, let's get this over with.

That is a real look of concern. My 8 year old self would eat one of these things, then spend the next 12 hours running around outside. My 31 year old self has already dialed "911" on his cell phone, in case this thing causes a massive coronary.

This is about 4 bites in. That's how many it took before I actually reached the "real" "fruit" filling. A common problem with Hostess Fruit Pies, the filling would often end up settling in one end or the other. If you were lucky, you started on the "filled" end. Otherwise, you had to fight your way through 20 sq ft of pastry shell before you struck sugary gold. That's if the crust held together and didn't spill the rest of the pie in your lap. At the least you ended up with filling covering most of your hands and face. Speaking of the filling, it almost seems criminal to have the word "Fruit" as part of this thing's name. Any resemblance to fruit was chemically stripped from this crap long ago

Six bites total, and this is where I stopped. I had to, I just couldn't take the flavor, or rather the lack of, anymore. For something that contains so much sugar, it really wasn't that sweet at all. It certainly wasn't as satisfying as I remember. Granted, I think it's been close to twenty years since I've eaten one of these things, so I'm sure they've changed something about their recipe in that time. As I sit here typing this, it's been close to an hour since I finished my last bite, and I still have an odd chemical flavor on my tongue, and the roof of my mouth feels oily. Also, I have a ringing in my ears, and my left eye won't stop twitching. I'm not sure if that's caused by the pie, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was.

So, after all that, what's the verdict? As if you didn't know..

Yeah, stay far, far, away from Hostess Fruit Pies. If the one I ate is representative of the rest of their product, the world will be a much safer place without them.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

The littlest dictator, Doctor Doom

This little Doctor Doom was hanging around the box of goodies I got from Eric at Toyriffic last year. That's right, another one. What can I say, the man puts together a good toybox. Anyhow, Doctor Doom happens to be one of my favorite Marvel villians. While other super-villians are always fighting to take over the world from their secret lairs, Doom actually has an entire country to rule. You could say that Doom's Latveria is the only country that is literally ruled by an iron fist.

Welcome to the wonderful Dictatorship of Latveria! 
The figure is actually rather detailed for its size, with quite a bit of detail on his armor and tunic. The cape and hood are made of a soft rubber, and are removable. Doom does have a bit of trouble standing, due to the way his legs are posed, and he always looks like he is walking angrily away from an argument. Maybe they got his order wrong at Starbucks.

Of course, if you can't get Doom to stand up, you can always get your friendly neighborhood zombie to lend a hand..

"Unhand Doom, you undead cretin!"

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Cobra Commander....of Dollar General?

I kept hearing about Dollar General carrying a small selection of G.I. Joe's, but since my area is right next to B.F.E, they hadn't shown up in our local stores yet. Then, a couple days ago, I stopped by the local DG to pick up a couple items, when I walk past the toy aisle and had the G.I. Joe logo catch my eye. These guys have been written about in numerous other blogs, but if you're not familiar with them, basically Hasbro put out a line of 6 figures especially for Dollar General Stores. They have very little in the way of paint apps, and come with fewer accessories than their more expensive brethren. In the end, I couldn't help myself, so I ended up getting Shipwreck and this guy:

That's the good ol' car salesman turned terrorist organization leader himself, Cobra Commander. He's actually not bad for what is essentially a dollar store figure. He has very little in the way of paint applications,but I think all black kinda works for this guy. He also comes with a nifty sword;

a pistol;

and of course a figure stand. When I was examining his pistol, I happened to notice it bore a resemblance to a couple of real life handguns.

Cobra Commander's sidearm

AMT AutoMag

Wildey Magnum

It seems like Cobra Commander's gun is an almagation of the two, blending the Wildey's frame with the AMT's barrel. I just thought it was an interesting choice for a sidearm. I really wouldn't be surprised if CC's was in some fictional caliber, such as .42 Viper or 11mm Rattlesnake. Cause, you know..snakes and everything..

Hmm...did I fire 7 shots, or only 6?

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Bob vs. Kirby

Bob the Zombie decided to push his luck with Kirby the Monster...

Bob figured he would win, since he's the biggest, baddest zombie in the house. Unfortunately for him, Kirby's the biggest monster in the house..

After some quick mediation and a bunch of dog treats, Kirby decided  he didn't like the taste of zombie and let Bob go. Luckily, Airtight was nice enough to volunteer and give Bob a good cleaning after his encounter.

Real smart, dog breath

And so ends another day in the Stunt Zombie household.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Time to put my Foot down!

The Foot Soldiers came out in the first wave of TMNT figures, and much like Shredder, they look like they are in serious need of some chiropractic help. This one came from the lot I won from a caption contest on Toyriffic last year.

The Foot Soldiers really were odd figures. I hadn't seen the cartoon yet when I started getting these figures, so I didn't know these guys were robots in the show. To me, they always looked like some sort of alien/gorilla hybrid, with their simian stance and bulbous noggin. Thankfully, they were unlike Shredder in the fact they had two usable arms, even if they were stuck in a semi-crouching pose.

Just a bit of trivia, those gauntlets on their arms are made from the shells of their fallen foes. Since none of the actual TMNT's were ever defeated in battle, I'm assuming this means the Foot Soldiers are programmed to destroy all turtles. Man, Shredder really was one evil dude.

Monday, November 19, 2012

As the Wyrm turns

Now that's a face not even a mother could love. Wyrm was part of the 1991 TMNT figure assortment, and for me, he ranks third in ugliness behind Mutagen Man and Muckman. Tugging on his hair caused his eyes to bug out, and his head was hinged for authentic eatin' action. He even came with a bunch of tiny red worms that you could "feed" to him. I actually had a Wyrm figure as a youngster, though I still find it hard to believe I bought him on my own. He just doesn't seem like the kind of character I would have been into back then.

I actually picked this one up as part of my yard sale score. I don't know who owned him before me, but I do know they must have been one cool kid.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

RIP Hostess, and you choose my poison!

It seems the economy has claimed another industry giant, this time in the form of Hostess. In all honesty though, it seems that they've been in trouble for a while now, as this will be the second time they've filed for bankruptcy in the past decade.I guess the push for healthier lifestyles and the fight against obesity are having some negative effects on the snack food industry after all. Whatever the reason was, I can't deny that for me, Hostess will always be the king of snack food advertising.
I can just hear all the physicists screaming in anger over this one..

Nothing saves the day faster than a crippling addiction to sugar.
Apparently there were parallel DC and Marvel universes where the chief items of value were Hostess snacks. I imagine that after a couple years of pulling off daring Hostess snacks heists, most criminals would be taken down by Mr. Diabetes. It's a lot harder to commit crime when you're missing a couple of your legs, or you have to have a forklift to carry you to the scene of the crime.

I have to admit, I was always more of a fan of Little Debbie and Tastykake's snacks, though Hostess' fruit pies were my favorite of the bunch. In their heyday, they manufactured what seemed like a dozen different flavors. Just off the top of my head I remember Strawberry,  Boston Creme, Cherry, Lemon, Apple, Blueberry, and Pudding pies. Hostess also produced the much loved Turtle Pies as a tie-in to the just released TMNT movie.They featured a green crust filled with vanilla pudding POWER!. They were a thing of beauty, and there are people out there that still remember where they were when they heard Turtle Pies were discontinued.

I actually picked up a couple of fruit pies while I was at Wal-Mart earlier today, and they happened to be my least favorite flavors, Lemon and Apple.

I was going to do a taste test for my loyal friends and readers, but I made the mistake of glancing at the information panel on the back. Each pie has close to 500 calories, and over 50% of a normal person's daily intake of saturated fat. I could probably drink a six-pack of beer and do less harm to my body. I don't even think I was in high school the last time I had one of these things, so I'm a little concerned what effect they will have on my rundown and aged body.  However, I'm willing to put myself in mortal danger for those of you that suffer through my blog, so I'm going to hold a poll to see which pie I eat. Just leave me a comment on here or on my Facebook page and tell me which flavor you want me to try. I'll let it go until next Saturday, where I will eat the pie with the most votes, and document my progress. I have a feeling it's not going to be easy, and I doubt that it will end well. So place your votes, and I promise to do my best to make my suffering as entertaining as possible.

Zombie pumpkin

It's looking like it's time  to chuck the Turk-O-Lantern, though not everyone agrees with me. I hear it makes a rather nice Fall home, if you're into decaying walls and mold. 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Tis the season (almost)

It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is less than a week away. The past couple of months have just flown by,  and at the rate things are going, Christmas will be here the week after next. It's really unfortunate then, that I'm just not feeling it this year. I can't quite put my finger on it, but this time of year I'm usually feeling a bit more relaxed and happy, unless I know we're going to be traveling. Then there is a sense of dread that builds and builds until the actual day of the trip. It's not that I don't want to see people for the holiday, it's that everyone else has the same idea. And they all want to drive like jackasses.

I think I can blame my parents for this one. I can't remember leaving the Shore for Thanksgiving, not one time. Most of the time, dinner was held at my aunt and uncle's house in Exmore. I'm not sure how they ended up becoming the official Thanksgiving destination, but I have a feeling it's because their house was big enough  for all of us to get together, but still avoid someone if we didn't like each other.

My aunt and uncle had a lot of property, so I was always exploring the woods, messing around in my uncle's shop, or playing around on his tractor while I was waiting for dinner to finish up. If the cousins were feeling generous, I was allowed to hang out with them. My cousins were all quite a bit older than me, so I was the usual target for abuse. It was never anything too serious, at least not enough to leave any emotional or physical scars, but  I do remember being the victim of more than a few brutal headlocks. They made up for it though, introducing me to things like Nintendo, archery, and comic books. There may have been a Playboy or two in there as well, but I will neither confirm nor deny that. The cousins also had a kick-ass fort that I would envy for many years. It looked like the sort of thing people would build after the end of the world, but in a good way. It probably didn't hurt that their dad was a contractor. Access to materials and knowledge can really make the difference when it comes to those sorts of things.

It amazes me to think about how many people actually fit into that house. Once you add up all the aunts and uncles, their kids, grandchildren, step-children, co-workers,  etc..there were at least 30 people there for dinner, yet it never really felt crowded. They usually cooked a ton of food for everyone, but you still had to be quick on your feet if there was something particularly good on the table.  By the time I was 10 or 11, I had learned the best strategy was to hover around the table, that way I would have first pick when dinner was officially served. It also meant I got to do a little taste testing beforehand, as long as no one was looking.

Once the leftovers were boxed up and shuffled off to the refrigerator, it was time for dessert. Just about everyone brought a dessert dish, and once all the pies, puddings, cookies, and brownies were laid out on the counter, the kitchen looked like the corner bakery. I used to eat disproportionately for my size, meaning I weighed around 80 lbs but still ate like a pro linebacker. By the time dessert rolled out, I'd already had two or three platefuls of food, as well as an incalculable amount of crackers and cheese. Yet I still had room for a couple servings of each pie, cookie, and cake that were within arm's reach.. I don't remember ever feeling like I had eaten too much. I wish I could say that now, when a single deviled egg can push me over the edge and leave me feeling like I'm going to explode for the next 24 hours.

The drive home was always a surreal experience for me. I would always be in the back seat, worn out from running around outside and stuffing my face. The 15 minute ride home seemed to stretch out for hours, and I would almost always be asleep before we pulled up to the house. By the time I made it up to my bed, Thanksgiving would be a mere memory. My mind would already be shifted into Christmas mode, and I would be preoccupied with Sears Wish Books, egg nog, and wishes for snow.

I'll be away from my computer for a few days next week, but I hope you all have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

See you 'round...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Arctic Donatello

That's Arctic Don hamming it up for the camera. It seems he took a wrong turn at the ice cream, and ended up next to the ice trays. This is another one that I picked up at the town yard sale in September, and he's in surprisingly good shape. I don't think I had any of the figures in this wave. By that time, the Turtles were starting to get a bit weird, and I was moving on. In fact, I don't remember having more than a couple variations on the original four. This one didn't come with any accessories, but his paint was in great shape. I just couldn't resist him for just half a dollar. Hopefully Don will get to see some play time soon when he ends up at his new home.

Monday, November 12, 2012

What's in my pockets?

On just about every forum I've joined, there is a thread asking what folks carry as their EDC, or everyday carry. Some people carry a ridiculous number of expensive items on them, while other prefer a more simplified setup. I tend to go simple myself, as I don't want to carry or use something I can't afford to replace, or just can't replace period.

Here's what I had in my pockets today:

From left to right we have:

Keys, with car remote and Lego Boba Fett. I had a Victorinox Classic on there, but it was just plain worn out. Time to get another one.

Burt's Bees Honey Lip Balm- because it doesn't smell and taste like chemicals.

Victorinox Pioneer-This one was a Christmas gift from Chelsea, and is my most carried pocket knife. I actually tend to use the tools more than the knife, but it doesn't hurt to have an extra edge on me. I have this one on a paracord lanyard that goes around my belt. It makes sure the knife sits vertically in my pocket, rather than sitting horizontally at the bottom. Carrying the knife this way is more comfortable, and it's easier to retrieve as well.

Buck Bucklite- This was a gift from a gentleman on Bladeforums. This particular version is discontinued, though Buck still makes different knives under the Bucklite label. Sturdy, light, and very sharp, it handles most of my day to day cutting tasks.

Coach brown leather wallet- Another gift from the girlfriend, this one carries all the necessary cards, id's, etc. No cash though, unfortunately.

And that's it. I have a bag I keep in the car, and that will usually contain a few other items, along with my cellphone. One of these days I'll post up the contents of my little Bag of Evil as well.

Of course, now I pose the same question to my readers and fellow bloggers alike. What's in your pockets?

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Boba Fett? Boba Fett where?

My original post was getting way too long, and was becoming the sort of thing that needs to go through the rough draft phase, so I decided to go with something a bit easier for tonight. And by easier I mean much, much, shorter.

Boba Fett. I know most people pick on the Fett-man, though I can't really blame them. He was accidentally defeated by a blind Han Solo, and ended up in the bottom of a giant,  sandy, toothed vagina in the middle of the desert. That doesn't cause me to like him any less though. From the first time I saw him in Return of the Jedi, he was my favorite character. I really don't know what drew me to Boba Fett, since we don't really get to see him do much during the trilogy. Maybe it was the jetpack. I was always fascinated by jetpacks as a kid. Anyway, by the time I found out there was a Boba Fett action figure, Star Wars toys hadn't been in stores for at least 5 years. There was no Ebay, in fact there was no internet that I knew of. The only thing I had to go by were ads in the toy price guides, when I could find them. Sadly, Boba Fett was always out of my price range, as I couldn't bring myself to spend $20 dollars on an action figure that was probably going to get played with and worn out. 

I actually ended up with several vintage Boba Fett figures the past few years, but they've all been sold or given away. Well, all except one:

Rocket firing Boba Fett! it's really just the mail in version from a couple of years ago. I still love it though. I have to admit, I used to look down on the Star Wars figures. I just didn't like the fact their elbows and knees didn't bend like G.I. Joe's did. Now though, I can definitely appreciate their simplicity and ruggedness. The modern figures feel like they're going to break just by posing them. You could toss the vintage figures off a building, and they probably wouldn't suffer much more than some paint wear. They do have one annoying issue though:

Most of the Star Wars figures I've handled could barely hold on to their weapons. You had to pry G.I. Joe's weapons from their cold, plastic hands, while Boba Fett would hold his blaster like it was a used napkin. 

This figure is pretty close to the original, though I think it was made a bit taller, so it couldn't be passed off as an original Rocket Firing Boba Fett. It comes with two missiles, one that just sits in the launcher, and one that actually launches out of the jetpack

Non-firing version

Firing version
The rocket actually gets some decent range, though I doubt it's really enough to injure someone. I think it actually has a bit less power than the launchers all those Battle Corps G.I. Joes used to come with. I guess it is possible those early 1980's springs had a bit more strength than these wimpy ones we have in the 2000's. 
Still, it's probably not a bad idea to use some common sense and be safe when you're playing with toy rocket launchers. For example, never point them at yourself while your thumb in on the trigg....

Oh crap! Do I take it out or do I leave it in!??

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

That's where I left it..

Oh hi. I was wondering where I left this blog, It was behind the sofa the entire time. I know it's been a few days since I've posted, but between work, weather, and health annoyances, I haven't had the energy or the motivation to make any posts. I'm feeling up to it today though, so keep your eyes open for new material tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm also going to try to get on a semi-regular schedule. I think it will help motivate me if I feel more obligated to post something for everyone to read. So stay tuned, because next time I feel like talking about something that happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away.

Until then, here's a photo of Chelsea and I from this past Halloween. If you can't tell, I went as a Post-Hulk Bruce Banner. It was rather drafty that night.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

How did they get here?

So I'm stealing this idea from Johnny Virgil over at 15 Minute Lunch, mainly because I'm feeling lazy tonight, and this stuff pretty much writes itself. Also, get mad if you want, but Johnny is a lot better at this than I am, so I don't think he'll mind too much.

I was looking through all of my stats through Google Analytics, mainly because I'm trying to see if I'm just talking to myself in front of millions, or if there actually are people out there reading this. Turns out there are a couple of you that come and visit now and then of your own free will, while all the rest end up here because of some horrible Google search accident. Some of the search terms that led folks here were rather baffling, and I just felt the need to share some of them with you.

6 inch ruler actual size-  There's always some guy out there that can't believe the facts, even when he's looking down at them. Sorry, but the 6 inch ruler is just that.

adventure time candy corn rat- This one caught me off guard. I figured someone forgot to delete the previous search terms, and ended up with this oddity. Turns out, it's actual character from the show Adventure Time.

Awww...isn't he cute?

bad reflection- Perhaps it isn't the reflection that's bad, but what's in it.

fancier king kong- Apparently regular ol' King Kong wasn't good enough for this searcher. They like their giant monkeys dressed up. I can actually picture King Kong wearing a brimmed hat and striped suit. Oh, and a monocle, can't forget the monocle.

give me a name-'s kind of hard since I don't know you, but I'll go with Dumpy McFartalot.

hand caught in shredder- Do yourself a favor and don't Google that phrase. It is not pleasant. The weird thing is, there are several other searches for the same thing, just worded a bit differently. After the first search you come up with all the pictures of hands caught in shredders that you need.

how to carve frankenstein into a pumpkin- I'm assuming you meant Frankenstein's Monster, in which case, you'll need strong ropes to keep him in place, and large pumpkin you can stuff him into when you're done carving it.

halloween pumpkin vampire- "Bloody Hell! This pumpkin's been sucked dry!" I know what they were probably looking for, but don't tell me you don't chuckle even a little bit picturing Dracula creeping through a pumpkin patch looking for his next victim.

oncoming car- I'd like to think they did this search while they were driving.

mr. pumpkin ass-

And on that note, I am going to spend the rest of my night trying to isolate and destroy the brain cells that may remember the results of some of these searches.
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